silver linings – new year, new mantra

This is the third time writing my New Year, New Mantra post.  It’s something I start to look forward to the end of the year.  A lot of people make New Year’s resolutions.  To me I don’t like New Year’s resolutions.  I don’t think you need January first to roll around to make changes whether it be to your finances, health, goal setting etc.  I think these things can be done at any time.  So instead I create a mantra, or phrase for the year that I can keep coming back to.  

Previous Year’s Mantras:

2018 – Embrace Change (I was pregnant and change was DEFINITELY coming!)

2019 – Self Care

2020 – Begin Again (because 2019 didn’t go as planned!)

A look back of 2020 (do we have to?!?!?!)

Wow, who would have saw that coming?!  My year to begin again was geared around me beginning to implement more self care into my life.  Round 2. The year started out awesome.  I was waking up early and having “morning me” time.  I would work out, enjoy a (HOT!) cup of coffee, read or journal, sometimes meditate, all before anyone else woke up.  It was really nice.  Then the chaos would start and we would get ready for work and leave.

I was working out way more than I had since I had Isley.  I felt GOOD inside and out.  Meditation was finally something I was incorporating into my day to day routine.  And you know where this is going…. then COVID!  My self-care didn’t go away, it just changed.  I didn’t have morning me time anymore.  I didn’t have any ME time anymore.  My husband and I started working from home and my two year old daughter was now with us full time.  We would divide and conquer.  I would work out in the morning or if I got a break.  We had to plan around each other’s schedules to try to take time for ourselves.

Hair salons were closed.  I couldn’t get massages.  Girls nights were out.  Fitness classes and gyms were closed so I couldn’t go to a yoga studio if I wanted.  Things I did for self care outside of my house ceased to exist.  But we adjusted.  

Find the good

2020 was chaotic.  But in the midst of the chaos I found so many silver linings.  There was actually so much GOOD that came from COVID.  After our state shutdown we headed back to my hometown.  We thought we were going to go for a few weeks and then everything would return to normal.  (how clueless we were!) Our two week stay turned into two months.  I haven’t been home for that long since I lived there in high school.  It was awesome.  It was sad being a mile away from my kindergarten best friends and not being able to see them.  But I was with my mom and stepdad every day which was time Isley had with her Nana and Buppa.  I don’t know if she will ever have two months straight with them again.

Since we were working from home until the foreseeable future we then returned to the UP for a few more two week stints.  By then things were opening up, we could gather and social distance.  We got to see our friends and family more.  Pre-COVID we would have gone for a week maybe, taken all our PTO and not been able to stay as long.  We got to come to Florida for a month for Christmas.  I didn’t think I would “winter” somewhere until I retired!

Then there is probably the biggest blessing of them all, I had seven months at home with my daughter.  I got to see her blossom from a toddler into a little girl.  I saw her fragmented three word sentences turn into full on conversations.  We splashed in puddles and played in the rain.  We took lunch breaks together and went outside and walked most of the days.  Our company gave us flexibility so my days ended a little earlier to juggle her being home with us which meant a few hours of quality time with her.

The curse became a blessing

If I had been in the office none of that would have happened.  Before COVID we had one hour together in the morning spent frantically trying to get out the door.  Then after work we had another hour or so spent making dinner and getting ready for bed.  Two hours a day total that wasn’t really “quality” in my opinion.  

Was it stressful?  Absolutely!  In the beginning there were days I thought I was going to lose my mind. Sometimes I wondered if our marriage would make it thru this strange life test.  But MOST days I was able to see the good in a really crappy situation and soak it all in. 

New Mantra – Silver Linings

2020 was my year to being again.  It was my year to start over and take care of myself.  And I would say I was successful.  It wasn’t without a challenge but I did well considering.  2021’s new mantra will be to find silver linings. 

As we potentially find some level of normalcy and maybe even return to our “old world” it is going to be challenging.  Those silver linings might not be right in my face.  I think 2021 is going to bring on new challenges.  Like what has a year plus in isolation really done to our psyche?  What happens when we can return to the office and our every day life isn’t the same as we left it?  Furthermore, do we actually return to our offices five days a week?  It’s going to be really interesting.

But what I do know now though is two quality hours with my child isn’t enough.  Sitting at my desk all day is not ok.  I need to be outside more.  I need to take walks.  Carving out time for myself is crucial even if somethings return to normal.

I hope that in 2021 I am truly able to see the beauty in all the small things.  If I was able to in the worst year in my thirty plus years of life, I have to think I will be able to going forward.  But my new mantra is something that I will come back to.  However if there are times when I forget, my mantra will be my reminder.  My new year new mantra of silver linings will stick with me through out the year (and hopefully after!).

Lastly I wish you all a very HEALTHY, happy and prosperous 2021.  I hope you too can find all the silver linings that exist in this chaos.  Adios 2020!