Last year I wrote about going into the New Year with a mantra. My mantra for 2018 was “embrace change”. I originally thought about “accept change” but to me that was just being “ok” with something changing versus really embracing it and being MORE THAN ok with it.
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! My life changed so drastically. For those of you who may not have been following along for this whole journey my husband and I welcomed our beautiful baby girl Isley into this world March 11th. My life as I knew it was over. And my new one was just beginning.
Those first few months with her at home were amazing. My husband I were home with her for three whole months. Every day (except two he was gone for business) the three of us spent virtually all day together. I thought when I was pregnant he took care of me. Boy that didn’t even compare to after we had her.
I don’t know how moms do it without help. If it hadn’t been for him I think I probably would have starved to death. I am a breastfeeding mama and those three months were spent mostly feeding her. So I kept her alive, he kept me alive. Which was a HUGE change for this strong, independent woman. I always had the attitude of I don’t need a man to take care of me.
Going back to work was rough. Never in a million years would I thought that the idea of being a stay at home mom was something I would want. I love to be busy, to interact with people, to analyze and problem solve. But when I came back to work all I wanted were those baby snuggles back.
My days, even while at work, totally revolved around my daughter. I pumped at work so my only free time I had was doing something for her. Even after work by the time we get home, feed her, take a bath and get her down to bed it only leaves enough time to make dinner or finish the work I left at my desk. There isn’t a lot of “free” time.
The weekends are hard for me. They are the only free time I have to spend with her and my husband that are quality. So it’s not that I feel guilty about being away, I just don’t WANT to be away.
It’s so funny how things have changed. I used to do yoga five times a week. I was even doing yoga my entire pregnancy, including the night I went into labor. In the past forty weeks I can probably count on two hands how many times I have gone. But guess what? I am not even sad about it! I wouldn’t trade all the time I gave up doing something for myself to be with my family. I have embraced my new lifestyle to the max.
But I need some balance. I know I need to start making time for me again. Even if it’s twenty minutes. So 2019 is going to be the year of self-care. I am making a promise to myself to do something every day FOR ME. Each day that might look different. One day I might need five minutes to meditate, or maybe go to yoga, or get a massage, or sit in the car for ten minutes to be alone, who knows. But whatever it is that day I need to do it.
It is one hundred percent ok to make yourself a priority. People sometimes equate for taking time to do things for yourself as selfish. I couldn’t disagree more. It’s not selfish, it’s SELF-CARE. It’s instinctively knowing what your body and mind need and LISTENING TO IT. It’s not selfish to actually put your needs first.
I truly believe when you make yourself a priority you become a better person. You are able to give more to others. You don’t see helping others as a burden when you have actually made time for yourself. When you never make yourself a priority you lose something. You lose a little piece of this person you are.
I don’t make resolutions. I use mantras to help remind me of what I need at that particular time. And next year I need some me time. I need to reconnect with myself again. You may call that selfish, but I call it self-care. And that self-care is only going to allow me to be a better person, a better wife, a better mom and a better friend. And if being selfish means being a better person, I hope you all are selfish next year! Happy, healthy 2019 to all of you.